Dwarf Tossing
One of the greatest
past-times in the land of Azeroth is the uncommonly skilled sport of
Dwarf Tossing. Unfortunately for the sport, many of the “politically correct”
people in society (namely Alliance) are making claims that the sport
is degrading and dangerous for their kinsmen. The people who actually compete
in the sport do not care what those dirty little dwarves think; so if you catch
one of those little buggers toss the ^%@^(*&.
Who Can Play?
Unlike dominoes, this sport can be played by anyone, as the need for heavy
consumption of alcoholic beverages as preparation purposes is completely
optional, but strongly recommended. Both men and women can play and even
compete against each other head-to-head. Unfortunately for the men, the women
who generally participate tend to have male like qualities (eg Tuaren and Orces).
Large muscles, strong legs and the arbitrary beer belly are the physical secret
weapons of a true dwarf-throwing athlete. However, to fully master the sport
the athlete must also possess the elixir of ogre strength, a swiftness potion, and
an elixir of fortitude. Injury is a serious threat to the Dwarf who, if thrown
correctly can land on a sharp object or off a cliff.
The Aim of the Game
Simple, the person who throws the dwarf furthest wins.
Specialised Equipment Needed in order
to Successfully Throw a Dwarf
Flagon of Mead or Rum
One Dwarf (willing or unwilling … who cares its a dwarf)
One hard surface
Rules for Dwarf Throwing
If a dwarf is thrown through a glass window or glass door +10
If a dwarf is thrown onto a burning camp fire +5
If a dwarf is thrown down a well, the organizers must ensure that the bottom of
the well is dry +10
If a dwarf is to be thrown across the path of an oncoming kodos
+5
If a dwarf is thrown into a pond or river, he must wear a cement boots and must
be tightly bound. If a dwarf refuses to be bound beat him until he does +5
If a dwarf utters any sound whatsoever, either in flight or
at the moment of impact, the throw will receive bonus points.
If dwarfs are thrown at night, they should be painted with phosphorescent paint, so that the point of impact may be clearly seen and thrown again.
